0
5
I love Tor Ekman, the healer… this guy is a piece of work!! 🤣🤣🤣 this is one of my favorite scenes from Seinfeld. It’s hilarious, dontcha think? What’s really disturbing, though, is that real people go to “healers”, such as Tor, and follow their advice. What are they thinking or are they thinking, at all? But, I digress. I’m very stressed out, right now, and I’m watching a lot of my favorite comedies, in an attempt to release all kinds of healing chemicals, into my bloodstream so I can relax and feel better, through laughter. It’s working. I’m very happy from it. They say laughter is the best medicine, and they’re right. Well, maybe not the best, but it’s up there, that’s for sure. Healing through laughter is a lot of fun, and you don’t need a prescription to do it!! I, highly, recommend it!! Maybe I should go see Tor and stop using hot water, too!! 🤣🤣🤣 you never know… actually, I DO know… I think I’ll watch some more sitcoms, instead… and go outside. I’m healing through nature, too. The combination is doing wonders for me!!! Life is good!!
1
I knew I had to print of the best sitcom character ever. There’s lots of options, sure. But I think George is probably the best. Maybe not my favorite, but he’s near the top.
1
(“It’s hard being a comedian — sometimes they don’t laugh!!” — Elaine, Seinfeld)
((this is a meta joke. also i figured Elaine would use, should be transcribed with, multiple exclamation points))
((unfunnily enough, i’m still alive))
3
Entertainment Weekly May 30, 1997, Seinfeld viewer’s guide.
I think it’s funny? endearing? that younger me made little check marks on the episode reviews. by this point, I can say I’ve watched them all.
featuring some art by Ron English, CF Payne, Mark Summers, Robert Risko, Anita Kunz, Mark Ulriksen, Mark Fredrickson, Barry Blitt, Drew Friedman, Eric Palma and Tim Bower.
0
George: Oh my gosh, I just had a great idea. She could come to the party tomorrow and read Gwen’s lips for me.
Jerry: What?
George: (Puts nuts into his mouth, and in the process covers his mouth) We bring her to the party, and she can tell me what Gwen is saying about me.
Jerry: She’s not a novelty act, George. Where you hire her out for weddings and bar mitzvahs.
George: Look. It’s a skill, just like juggling. She probably enjoys showing it off.
Jerry: I don’t know George. I’m not sure about this.
George: Could you ask her, just ask her. If she says no, case closed.
Jerry: All right.
Jerry: Uh Laura, George was wondering if…
Laura: Sure. I’ll do it.
0
Sex Ed
The George Constanza line asks the most important question of anyone fictional or otherwise: can they win in a fight with George Costanza? The answers may shock you.
Can George Costanza teach sex ed?
Well, of course
He’ll fail so badly that sex ed will be illegal after he’s done
0
me: i need to re-evaluate my stance on shipping george with kramer… this may be otp material here…
the surgeon: ok
3
fujoshi Seinfeld:
elaine: so you know my coworker Henry
jerry: the one bisexual david has a crush on?
elaine: yes. he told me he’s leaving his wife and I think david has a real shot here. george, you know Henry right? can you help me
george: i can’t help you with your cuck fantasies, i’m going to anime expo LA this week
kramer [walking in]: hey i uhhh just discovered this thing called yuri? it’s like yaoi but two girls and i think you guys could reallllly get into it
Jerry: how could it be yaoi if there’s 2 girls
elaine: you’re so closed minded anything can be yaoi
kramer: actually, i think they call it “yuri”
jerry: yuri-lly should get a job
george: ah fuck my boss isn’t letting me have days off to go to anime expo should i blow him
0
The reason the live audience stopped applauding Michael Richard’s entrances was because Larry David specifically asked them to….
2
who rhe hell said the vocals in mr brightside sound like jerry seinfeld. i cant hear this song without picturing the guy yelling the lyrics to elaine in his apartment or somecrazy shit
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im pondering the pulp, as i often do, and i realized i never thought of what to do with it afterwards. should i keep #mypulp ? or would that, in a way, allow the jerry to go on living in pulpy infamy? should he be destroyed like the one ring in mount doom? what is jerry seinfelds mount doom? …i have much to think about
2
why aren’t we treating jerrygeorge like it’s tomtord? this is a crime. WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY, PEOPLE! SHOW IT TO ME! COME ON!!!!!
0
Hey this is the phone sex girl! Jerry had a lot of girls, and I always thought she was one of Jerry’s top girls 😍
0
“Regifting” May Be Socially Unacceptable, But It’s OK in This Case
There was a humorous episode of Seinfeld about “regifting”, the practice of taking a somewhat less desirable gift you have received, keeping it new in the box, and then giving it away to someone else. In the episode, various people re-gift and get caught doing it because people either recognize the gift as the one they had given, or the secondary receivers somehow tell the original gift-giver…
“Regifting” May Be Socially Unacceptable, But It’s OK in This Case
1
If the One Wish Willow existed in Seinfeld:
Elaine: how are things going with that woman who works at the magic shop?
Jerry: she won’t let me play with any of the cursed objects!
Jerry onstage: you ever notice how men don’t care about the jobs of the women they date?
A man has to have a respectable occupation for a woman to even consider going out with him. Meanwhile a guy will be like ‘so what do you do?’
‘I sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread.’
‘Oh nice, well how about after your shift organising the souls of the damned I pick you up and we go to a restaurant?’
3
The only reason Kramer had a pet in the pilot of Seinfeld was because Jerry had an in-universe stand-up joke about a dog. Sort of the same reason Tina Fey put a Jay Leno impersonation in the pilot of 30 Rock
3
Kinda ironic how Seinfeld stopped having stand-up cold opens once Jerry Seinfeld took over as show runner
0
YouTube Poop clip #114
YTP - Kramer Risks It All - oogabeluga
Hey! I’m back again! Sorry I haven’t posted here in 7 months. Short story: Stuff happened. Long story: A LOT of stuff happened. The good thing is that I’m back.
1
Donald: That’s a joke, the Moors.
George: Oh, Noooo, I’m so sorry. It’s the Moops. The correct answer is, The Moops.
Donald: Moops? Let me see that card. That’s not Moops, you Jerk; it’s Moors. It’s a misprint!
George: I’m sorry, the card says Moops.
Donald: It doesn’t matter. It’s Moors. There’s No Moops.
George: It’s Moops.
Donald: Moors!
George: Moops!
Donald: Moors!!
2
George Steinbrenner x george Costanza
note: this is unfinished, it just didn’t really make me interested… I don’t like yaoi …I want breasts…ok????
“Well…thats over with.” George Costanza’s friend, Jerry Seinfeld said flatly as he put the leftovers in his fridge.
George froze. Then, as if remembering something catastrophic, he snatched his tailored coat off the rack.
“I gotta get back to work!”
The wave Jerry gave back was half hearted, as if George’d see it anyways. He turned on his heel to Elaine, who gave him a pointed look through her reading glasses. “He’s been out of his mind all month.”
“No kidding.” He mused, then continued, “At least he isn’t getting married anymore.”
“Yeah, but what’re you gonna do with the Cubans you were going to gift him?”
“Give them to Kramer.” As if it was the simplest thing in the world. He sat on his couch, fingers gripping the phone and dialing a persons number.
“Ohh…” Newfound pragmatism found its way into her mind.
The office was paneled with the finest woods, polished to a sheen with care only a great businessman could obtain. George had gotten used to entering it under Steinbrenner’s command. His shoes were quiet against hardwood flooring.
“You wanted to see me sir?” He said, in that polite yet meek tone that he often found himself using when face to face with Steinbrenner.
The air was dense with expectancy, two men awaiting very different moments
“George…I have heard your fiancé has died.” That voice, so usually fast and boisterous, bellowing commands in its depth was of no means authoritative. It was much more sober. More human.
“Yes sir, she was poisoned.” George went on before he could stop himself. “Died from licking envelopes way past their time. Never knew they could expire.”
“Costanza!”
“Damn it, sir!” George yelped out, terrified, he adjusted his glasses with trembling hands.
“Your fiancée died!” He said, as if that was the most logical but incomprehensible thing in the world.
“Yes sir! Last week!”
“And you are discussing the toxins within your wedding envelopes!” He cried out in outrage, stormed out his desk space.
“I’m…mournful too, sir.” His eyes hesitantly met the ones of the taller man.
“You shouldn’t have to say it. A man shouldn’t have to explain he’s grieving.” The profoundness touched George.
“Aight, sir. Apologies.”
“Now what the hell are you apologizing for?” His calloused hand found the boys shoulder. The silk gloves he wore smelled of parchment and wood.
George writhed under his grip, “Sorry-…” he stuttered, voice trembling with nervous energy while his ears and cheeks flushed. His breath came short and panicked, with thoughts of the foundation and her funeral.
“Shut it, boy.” The demand was gruff, gloved hands wandered down to his supple waist, pushed the suit jacked open then drifting up to cup his cheek. “We will have no more of this talk.” Steinbrenner murmured.
“What is it, Costanza? You’ve got the crazies?” He questioned
“No sir.”
The air smelled of tobacco and aged ink, his touch lingered longer than it should have, hand hot and firm in place. To George, the silence was torturous. He hated being lectured, not by older men. Not by this handsy, powerful man who still called him things like ‘kid’ either as if he was that childish.
Although, maybe he was.
Steinbrenner’s gaze was still fixed on him, those rosy parted lips, the timid gaze that he often found himself assessing these days. Sharp features dangerously close to shattering restraint.
“Sir?” George breathed softly with confusion.
“Your alone, George.” Steinbrenner frowned. “No one to claim you as their own anymore.” He stated with certainty. His breath curled down George’s throat, real, a promise forged in unspoken want.
George nodded, glasses innocently tipping down his nose. His pale cheeks appeared dusted rouge by nature alone. Quietly, his brown eyes strayed, however, one touch left him staring at Steinbrenner again like an idiot. Sighing deeply, all while Steinbrenner was caught in a more heated fervor, filthy hands gripping his waist.
“Pull away, George.” He challenged, “Since your fiancee had just died, don’t you need…a little time?” He winked tediously. But when the stubborn young man remained in place, his hands made the first real move. Ever so gently, cupping his chin, he adjusted George’s intense gaze upwards. Awaiting, tracing his faint jawline.
Slowly, he guided Georges face forward with a little push. A light smack to the thigh made the boy stop resisting and their lips met, George shyly kissed him with Steinbrenner was much more eager to plead him, his breath came out warm shaky. His tongue darted in to grasp a more intimate taste of his subordinates mouth.
He drew out a moan from George, the young man pressed against him, unconscious of his boss’s large erection pressed against his lithe stomach. “D-damn…such a pretty…pretty face…” Steinbrenner laughed out, plastering wet kisses to the boys face with eagerness. He murmured quiet words of expecting obedience as he undressed George cloth by cloth. “On the couch, young man.” Steinbrenner’s lips curl against the skin of Georges flushed shoulder, reverently pushing him towards the velvet cushions.
“I haven’t done this in a while…” George breathed between unexpected shivers.
Steinbrenner unbuttoned his well tailored trousers, revealing his shaft, upright, thick and moist with arousal. He sat besides George and led him onto his stomach, although not yet ready to receive. George’s eyes widened, he pleaded, “Is that really going in me?! Sir!” He tried turning over to have some proper eye contact, his senior was tenderly holding him down. Steinbrenner ignored him, lathering two of his fingers with oil and smothered around his workers entrance.
George twitched under his iron hold. Scared, tempted, and shivering in the cold of November, he tried bolting up ward to complain. However his tedious efforts were met with his boss’s drooling cock pressing against his primed anus. He got pent up and annoyed by Steinbrenner’s teasing, he arched his small back off the cushion. Leading the ruddy tip of his cock to his hole. Skin met skin with a wet plap, the bulbous tip invading his entrance. Rolling his hips, he wanted to feel the pleasure, even if he moaned too loud that the other yankee workers would hear.
Steinbrenner noticed his eagerness, and it damn well pleased him to the core, his eyes shone with unmasked approval for this easily-aroused young man who was eager to be used. He gripped George’s rear, spreading him open, slowly burying himself inside the tender flesh. He hissed at the impossible tightness, stiffening but slowly letting loose. Slowly, he plunged himself in and out. “You feel great, my boy…” He groaned, in his deep tone. George took hold off his glasses and wiped the fog clean off them and glanced over his shoulder, to find Steinbrenner enjoying himself with his body. He muffled his powerless sobs and wails into the velvety cushion, unafraid but very much exerted.
The older mans hand treaded down to his thighs, guiding them apart. Then he began stroking his more pathetic manhood. His head dragged down and rested against the small of his back, breath uneven and hot against the prickling skin. Georges hips buckled, having been stretched to perfection, now moving in an appealing rhythm. He shuddered greatly as he was stroked, teeth violently nibbling into his bottom lip, hips rolling up, constantly meeting his girth while Steinbrenner’s hand found his waist.
The thick and great cock was pulled out, Steinbrenner turned George over, to be met with watery eyes. Surely he was overwhelmed, with his glasses fogged from the impossible heat between them. He pushed back in once George was facing him, his bare back against the softness of the cushion, the slippery head of his cock entered with newfound ease after a series of rough pounding.
24
favorite recurring bit in seinfeld is kramer going on some tangent, jerry responding with a mean comment and kramer agreeing
2
Seinfeld, Season 4, Episode 12
“Men can sit through the most pointless, boring movie if there’s even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.”
That iconic quote is from Season 4, Episode 13 of Seinfeld, simply titled “The Movie”. Elaine Benes delivers the line to George Costanza at the theater after he justifies why he is willing to sit through a terrible movie.
To which George immediately counters with a highly valid Seinfeldian question: “So, what’s your point?”
1
“I once broke up with someone for not offering me pie.”
cleaning out my arts drafts: January 30th 2025. Elaine Marie Benes (portrayed by Julia Louis-Dreyfus) from Seinfeld (1989.)
okay this one kills me, the face got all fucked up and idk how 😭 I made the nose shorter and more button-y than the reference, the lips are smaller & more plump and the eyes are looking the wrong way…I think the features are too close together overall. siiiigh
3
The “theory” that they all died during the planes turbulance and the trial is basically just God sentencing the four to Hell makes sense just because the trial only makes sense on moral grounds rather than strictly legal grounds.
0
George Clooney sneak on a magazine cover in a store on the Seinfeld New York City street set!
3
Do we think the Susan storyline was just Larry David poking fun at Mad About You’s success?
0
Policeman: Let’s see, that’s uh, one TV, a stereo, one leather jacket, a VCR and a computer…is that ‘bout it?
Elaine: Answering machine.
Jerry: (disappointed) Answering machine. Oh, I hate the idea of somebody out there returning my calls.
Policeman: What do ya mean?
Jerry: It’s a joke.
Policeman: I see…Well, mister Seinfeld uh, we’ll look into it and uh, we’ll let you know if we uh, you know if we find anything.
Jerry: You ever find anything?
Policeman: No.
Jerry: Well, thanks anyway.
Policeman: You bet.
Elaine: I didn’t get that joke either.
Jerry The crook has the machine. The messages aren’t for him.
He’s the crook: why would he answer… How did you get in here?
George: walked in, your lobby door is broken again.
Jerry:(annoyed ) Again.
2
A maze from the back of a cereal box
The George Constanza line asks the most important question of anyone fictional or otherwise: can they win in a fight with George Costanza? The answers may shock you.
And yes, you can solve the maze if you want.
4
I’ve watched all of Seinfeld for the first time except for the final episode (I don’t have any idea what happens during it) which I’ll be watching this weekend. Here are my top 5 ranking of all the episodes before I watch the finale
5. The Betrayal
4. The Rye
3. The Hamptons
2. The Fire
1. The Shoes
Honorable Mentions: The Sniffing Accountant, The Bizarro Jerry, The Non-Fat Yogurt, The Dealership & The Maid (these are paired with each other purposely), The Pie, The Wink, The Subway, The Limo, The Outing, The Library, The Sponge
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Well that happened
So the other night I was hungry when everywhere else was closed so I headed to Sheetz. Also there was a power outage. And as I pulled in there was some guy sitting in his truck scrolling his phone – probably he was doing this because he too had no power at home but could charge the phone in the car. Anyway, I go in, buy some food, and as I leave there’s a second guy who asks me “is this your car?” pointing at the guy’s truck, which still has the lights on and engine running but nobody in it. I say no and get in my car and start eating my food.
It’s around this time I realize that the second guy is a cop, and he seems anxious, apparently worried someone will steal the truck with the engine running, despite the fact that this sheetz almost always has cops outside of it and it’s the dumbest possible place to do a crime. (then again, drunk people are dumb sometimes.)
After eating a bit of my food, I notice the cop heading into Sheetz. I also notice that the truck’s lights and engine are off – apparently the cop decided to turn off the engine and take the keys to look for the owner. As he opens the door and walks into Sheetz, another guy walks out of Sheetz right past him – whom I somehow recognize as the guy who was sitting in the truck earlier, and neither of them realize what has happened.
The sight of the two of them walking through the door *at the same time in opposite directions* is something out of a Seinfeld episode if not Looney Tunes but I swear to god it happened.
Fortunately, I found the courage to step in, tell the guy what’d happened, and I stuck around to see him come back out of Sheetz a couple minutes later with his keys and he waved in thanks.
Are there more important things in the world than averting an IRL sitcom episode? Yes. Are there more important things that I could have done, right then and right there? No.
In conclusion, trans rights. and also maybe don’t leave your engine running it really doesn’t save much time even if there isn’t a cop.
3
I love how, according to a waifu roller on 4chan, George from Seinfeld can be your waifu
4
modern seinfeld where mamdani is still the nyc mayor in universe but the appearances he makes are comedically casual
0
Needs to end with a very digitized voice clip of something, when you’re hitting the start button
“giddy up” etc
0
George: Bozo?
Eric No.
George B-O-Z-O?
Eric: Sorry, I…
George: You’ve never heard of Bozo the Clown?
Eric: No!
George: How could you not know who Bozo the Clown is?
Eric: I don’t know, I just don’t.
George: How can you call yourself a clown and not know who Bozo is?
Eric: Hey, man - what are you hassling me for? This is just a gig; it’s not my life. I don’t know who Bozo is, what - is he a clown?
George: Is he a clown? What, are you kidding me!?
Eric: Well, what is he?
George: Yes, he’s a clown!
Eric: Alright, so what’s the big deal! There’s millions of clowns!
George: Alright, just forget it.
Eric: Me forget it? You should forget it! You’re livin’ in the past, man! You’re hung up on some clown from the sixties, man!
George: Alright, very good, very good…go fold your little balloon animals, Eric. Eric! What kind of name is that for a clown, huh?