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The Seinfeld cast (Jason “George Costanza” Alexander, Jerry “Jerry Seinfeld” Seinfeld, Julia “Elaine Benes” Louis-Dreyfus and Michael “Cosmo Kramer” Richards) posing for the cover of Rolling Stone Magazine N°660/661 (July 8-22, 1993).
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Seinfeld 6x02 “The Big Salad”
★★★★★★☆☆☆☆
Michelle Forbes. Good ideas, good observations, but no big laughs. Indeed, not very many laughs at all. George isn’t given credit for buying Elaine’s big salad; Kramer may have incensed a murderer. I don’t know; maybe the OJ Simpson footage landed bigger in the 1990s? Written by Larry David. Sept 1994: Thursdays on NBC after Friends, before Madman of the People. Against McKenna (ABC); Eye to Eye with Connie Chung (CBS); New York Undercover (Fox). 6/10
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“Seinfeld” 084 (1994)
Michelle Forbes.
- Good ideas, good observations, but no big laughs. Indeed, not very many laughs at all.
- George isn’t given credit for buying Elaine’s big salad; Kramer may have incensed a murderer. I don’t know; maybe the OJ Simpson footage landed bigger in the 1990s?
- Written by Larry David.
- Sept 1994: Thursdays on NBC after Friends, before Madman of the People. Against McKenna (ABC); Eye to Eye with Connie Chung (CBS); New York Undercover (Fox).
6/10
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A Comically Large Coke
Jerry Seinfeld x Reader
Summary: Reader moved into Jerry’s apartment building due to a new job. Someone has a bad habit of slamming doors and it’s not Jerry. Reader and Jerry end up at a basketball game and have a sweet goodbye at the end of the night, assuring each other that there will be more basketball games.
[NOT PROOFREAD]
I knew moving into a New York apartment wouldn’t be particularly fun. I still found myself excited. Other than my new job, the only reason I’ve moved is for the New York Knicks.
Just down the hall, there is a constant slamming of doors. It didn’t bother me the first few days because I spent most of my time at work. Over the weekend, though, it began to really bother me. All I wanted was to enjoy my apartment and a lazy weekend. That’s hard to do with doors slamming.
A door slams so loud that I feel the vibrations through the floor. “That’s it!” I stand from my couch. I decide that I will not tolerate this. I walk straight out my front door and am met face-to-face with a man. He may be a bit older than me. He’s got nice hair. I step back, “excuse me.” He peers down the hall and then says, “Hey, are you the one who moved in the other day?” I nod, “That would be me.”
A tall man with wild hair and long legs comes out of his apartment, slamming the door behind him. “You!” I point rudely. “You’re the one slamming the doors all day! I can feel it through my floors!” He turns to me with this surprised look on his face. Then he looks me up and down and looks at the other man, giving him an unreadable look.
The tall man puts out his hand, “You are just beautiful! I’m Kramer.” He talks to the other man, “Jerry, did you tell the pretty woman your name?” “I was getting there-” He smacks Kramer’s shoulder. Jerry holds his hand out. I shake both of their hands and introduce myself. “Kramer, is it? You must stop slamming your doors. I can’t take it.” He mutters something inaudible before scampering off. I chuckle, “He’s quite the character.” Jerry agrees. We go our separate ways, and I go to call a friend about getting headphones for the noise.
-
“What do you mean you can’t go! It’s the Knicks!” I hear a familiar voice in the hall. I perk up when I hear “Knicks”, like a cat hearing a bag of treats. I close my book and run to my door to listen. I hear another man’s voice, “I can’t, Susan wants to go see a movie.” Jerry retorts, “A movie! A movie! You can go see a movie anytime!” The voices disappear down the hall.
That evening, a knock interrupts my cooking. I look through the peephole and see Jerry. Naturally, I open my door. He starts talking before I even say how are you. “I’m really sorry if you’re busy, but I got these tickets, and none of my friends can go, and I can’t just let the ticket go to waste or go alone-that gets awkward. Anyway, it’s the Knicks game tonight. I know it’s really short notice and you don’t know me, but I have literally nobody else to ask, so I figured, why not give the new New Yorker the full experience?” Jerry is out of breath by the time he finishes.
“… Is it a home game?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“What time?”
“9pm tonight.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay, I’ll go with you.”
“Okay!” He lights up.
-
By 8:45, I’m sitting in floor seats with food in hand. Jerry holds a drink. I’m normally a bit weird about sharing drinks, but the cup is unnecessarily massive, and he told me it was all part of the experience
“What is? Sharing a stupidly large cup of Coke?”
“Yeah! Look, you’ll thank me by halftime when that pretzel makes you thirsty.”
I roll my eyes and smile. By 10:40, we are 6 up and in the 4th quarter. I’m getting really tired. Jerry notices this and slowly tests the waters, reaching his arm behind me. I’m hesitant. I don’t know him. This could be a trap.
“We can leave if you want to go home and sleep. I don’t mind.”
Well, he’s definitely not abusive, I’ll tell you that. My Ex would’ve been yelling at me to wake up, and say he didn’t pay for me to fall asleep during the game.
I shake my head and accept that his arm is around me. “Nah. I’m happy here. Say, that pretzel made me thirsty. Share your Coke, won’t you?” He looks down at me, handing me the cup, “told you so.”
The Knicks beat the Bulls by five points. By the time the game was over, I was wide awake, yelling and cheering.
We get a cab back to the apartment and take the elevator. We get to my apartment door and face each other. “We should do this again sometime soon.” He says. I nod. “Thank you.” Then I do the most unusual thing anyone can do: I hug him. I really hug him. Arms over his shoulders and everything. I feel him wrap his arms around my waist and hug me close. “Of course,” He says softly. We stand there, hugging for a moment. We step out of the hug. Now I’m embarrassed and blushing.
He is smiling like an idiot. He informs me, “There’s a game in a few days.”
“Are you going to bring your friends?”
He chuckles, “Well, I don’t know about that. I’m not a millionaire.”
“So you’ll go alone?” I ask.
“I’m sure I can find someone to go with me.” He teases.
I shrug and toss my hands up, “Only if dinner is included.”
“You mean a pretzel and a comically large Coke isn’t a meal?”
I laugh. He looks quite proud of himself when he makes me laugh.
“You know,” He kicks his shoe against the carpet, “One might call dinner and a basketball game a date.”
I nod. “It’s a date then.”
He returns my nod, “I’d like that.”
“Alright then. Have a good night, Jerry.”
“Sleep well. I had fun tonight.” He waves from his front door.
I curl up in my bed to be startled by a door slamming. “Kramer!” I yell. I groan and roll over. What a character.
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After the series finale of Seinfeld they should have done a live episode of The Tonight Show (with Jay Leno, unfortunately), just like the cast of Cheers, but instead of being stupidly drunk, they’d be high on caffeine, except for Michael Richards who’d be, as usual, on coke
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Elaine Jerry, Jerry.
Jerry: Yeah.
Elaine: What the hell is this? Where are you?
Jerry: Over here. You can see right through here.
Elaine: What is this. It’s like you’re selling movie tickets back here.
Jerry: It’s kind of cozy.
Elaine: Hey, you’re not going to believe what Kramer did to my mattress… . I can’t talk to you like this. So Kramer completely funked up my mattress.
Jerry: Does it smell like the East River?
Elaine: How did you know?
Jerry: Because Kramer has been swimming laps between the Queensborough bridge and the Brooklyn bridge.
Elaine: Oh, GREAT!
Kramer: Oh man, I’m on the wrong floor again.
Elaine: Hey, thanks for ruining my mattress. It reeks.
Kramer: Hey, you know what I think it is? I think it’s the East River. I think it might be polluted.
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Modern sitcom episode where the weird funny guy has a crisis because he’s “becoming George costanza”
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About to be 29 this year, recreating this meme i vividly remember from 2020 bc I cannot for the life of me find it anywhere on here or elsewhere. Anyways posting for the masses here in case anyone else needs it, going to be the theme template for my birthday party as well as the vibe of the decade o7 soldiers
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Heated Rivalry but with furries. Seinfeld but with furries. Wuthering Heights but with furries.
There are furries everywhere for those with eyes to see them.
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i wish there was like a font you could use to indicate that you’re actually saying the thing you a typing in such a funny way though like you would laugh if I did this in real life I swear
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Seinfeld 6x01 “The Chaperone”
★★★★★★★★☆☆
Gail Strickland, Marguerite MacIntyre (Kyle XY). First of 7 episodes for Ian Abercrombie as Mr. Pitt, Elaine’s new boss. Jerry and Kramer ruin the chances of a Miss America contestant. Sept 1994: NBC on Thursdays after Friends, before Madman of the People. Against McKenna (ABC); Eye to Eye with Connie Chung (CBS); New York Undercover (Fox). 8/10
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“Seinfeld” 083 (1994)
Gail Strickland, Marguerite MacIntyre (Kyle XY).
- First of 7 episodes for Ian Abercrombie as Mr. Pitt, Elaine’s new boss.
- Jerry and Kramer ruin the chances of a Miss America contestant.
- Sept 1994: NBC on Thursdays after Friends, before Madman of the People. Against McKenna (ABC); Eye to Eye with Connie Chung (CBS); New York Undercover (Fox).
8/10
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first time officially seeing seinfeld and kramer is the cutest patootiest whenever any other member of the gang fucks up i laugh or cringe and go “no god no dont no” but when kramer fucks up i pout and go “noooooo kramer :( noooooo don’t do that” because when he fucks up it’s because it’s his first time living too and when the others fuck up it’s because they’re doing the most evil thing they can possibly conceive of
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Susan Biddle Ross, if no one in your fictional life will properly mourn you, I will do so. I’ve never seen such a heartbreaking, wicked story in a sitcom before.
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Kramer: Anyway, I, um, just want to say I’m sorry. I lost my temper and
I probably shouldn’t have. I took it out on you, and if I’ve caused you
any problems as a result of my behavior, well then, I’m sorry. I apologize.
Even though, Barry, between me and you, we both know that you started it. I
mean, who’s kidding who? But they tell me that you’re very upset, and god
forbid I should disturb the very important monkey, I’m just hoping we can put
this behind us, let’s just move on with our lives, ok? So no hard feelings?
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This is Awful. I’m not Newman! . I’m Ewman ! - Not said by Newman (Wayne Knight) in Seinfeld season 7 episode 16 .
I did not make this . All credit goes to who did .
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Seinfeld 5x22 “The Opposite”
★★★★★★★★★★
Dedee Pfeiffer. The George storyline is sublime. Some of the most cheer-worthy scenes of the whole series. I’d totally forgotten the rest of the episode. While George goes from the bottom to the top–by ignoring his instincts–Elaine’s world falls apart and she goes from the top to the bottom. Hilarious. Clever. Spring 1994: Thursdays on NBC after Wings, before Frasier. Against: Matlock (ABC); Eye to Eye with Connie Chung (CBS); In Living Color (Fox). 10/10
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“Seinfeld” 082 (1994)
Dedee Pfeiffer.
- The George storyline is sublime. Some of the most cheer-worthy scenes of the whole series.
- I’d totally forgotten the rest of the episode. While George goes from the bottom to the top–by ignoring his instincts–Elaine’s world falls apart and she goes from the top to the bottom. Hilarious. Clever.
- Spring 1994: Thursdays on NBC after Wings, before Frasier. Against: Matlock (ABC); Eye to Eye with Connie Chung (CBS); In Living Color (Fox).
